Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Diaper Changing

What better way to start a new blog than a discussion of bodily waste?  Can it only get better from here?

OK.  Listen up new parents!  There's one thing I really don't want you to do and that's to waste money on a fancy, cute changing table no matter how adorable it makes your baby's room look.  Chances are that when the moment of doom strikes, you will be nowhere near the baby's room.

Given that you will have to baby-proof your house anyway and will be removing all items from your shelving from the waist down (it will look like someone decorated your house but stopped halfway down) you may as well set up a designated changing supplies shelf somewhere convenient.  I liked to keep supplies in my own bedroom as well as the family room.

Those supplies should include two essential items in addition to the usual diapers, wipes and bags:

1.  Go to Costco and buy several boxes of their disposable exam gloves.  You can find them near the pharmacy.  These will be of incalculable value to you during those moments when the "ick factor" is simply overwhelming and there will be many of these occasions.  Do not kid yourself, that darling pink cooing sweetie of yours will be lying in a pool of liquid shit from her head to her toes some morning when you come in to get her from her crib. The sheets, the mattress and the crib itself will be trashed.

You WILL want bio-hazard gear.  Actually, you will want a hazmat suit.

2.  Go to the neighborhood drug store and buy several packages of surgical pads.  Even better, if you have a friend who works in a hospital, get them to grab you some.  These are the pads that are soft and absorbent on one side and waterproof (usually blue) on the other.  Kind of like a puppy pad that you get from the pet store and for the same general purpose. :)

These pads make the BEST changing surface!  You can fold one up and put it in your diaper bag for changes on dirty bathroom floors or other surfaces you really don't want to expose yourself and the baby to. Do you REALLY want to take your cutesy diaper changing pad, put it on a dirty floor and then tuck it back into your diaper bag?  No.  You do not.  You want to roll that disposable pad up and dump it with the diaper.

Having these pads in different rooms of your house increase the likelihood that other family members may change the baby because they don't have to hike back to the baby's room and changing table with a stinky load in their arms.  Spread the pad out on the sofa, the floor, your bed, wherever and get that kid cleaned up FAST!

While I'm on this subject, skip the Diaper Genie thingies.  Spend your money on something fun, not diaper disposal junk.  That's what the plastic bags from the grocery store are for.  Save those and pop the dirty diaper in one, tie it up with the handles and flip it into a covered trash bin.  You'll get really good and really fast at it. Sometimes you can even do it with your eyes closed in the dark when you are super tired.

You cannot beat the gloves and surgical pads for keeping you, the baby, and the surfaces in your house just a little bit more santitary.

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